Jokes My Father Never Taught Me: Life, Love, and Loss with Richard Pryor

221 Pages·2006·3.41 MB·English

by  Rain Pryor

JOKES MY FATHER
NEVER TAUGHT ME
LIFE, LOVE, AND LOSS WITH RICHARD PRYOR
RAIN PRYOR
WITH CATHY CRIMMINS
I dedicate this book to the loving memory of my father, Richard Pryor;
to my brothers and sisters, whose voices matter;
and to my mother, Shelley—just you and me against the world.

CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION • 1
1. HOME AT LAST • 5
2. INTRODUCING RICHARD PRYOR • 13
3. THE BROKEN HEARTS CLUB • 37
4. WE ARE FAMILY • 59
5. THE GOD OF COMEDY • 75
6. MAN ON FIRE • 93
7. GET OVER IT • 115
PHOTOGRAPHIC INSERT
8. BEVERLY HILLS HIGH • 131
9. AN ACTOR’S LIFE • 147
10. WEDDING BELLS • 171
11. THE PRISONER • 191
EPILOGUE • 203
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS • 209
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
CREDITS
COVER
COPYRIGHT
ABOUT THE PUBLISHER
INTRODUCTION
Once upon a time, in a Faraway Land, two hippies were sitting around
talking about the rain.
“Don’t say ‘hippies,’ Rain. It was 1967, and we were Flower
Children, not hippies.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Hippies were dirty. Flower Children were clean and beautiful.”
“That’s a stretch.”
“Just go with it.”
“Okay. I’ll try.”
Once upon a time, in a Faraway Land, two Flower Children were
sitting around talking about the rain. They lived in a Magic Castle—
“Actually, if you’re going to insist on telling the truth, it was a
Spanish colonial on Plymouth Street, with brown wall-to-wall shag
carpeting. And it’s not even there anymore—they tore it down to
make room for an office building.”
“Can we focus on the two Flower Children for the time being?”
2 JOKES MY FATHER NEVER TAUGHT ME
“It’s your book.”
The female Flower Child, born in the enchanted borough ofBrooklyn,
was a beautiful Jewish-American princess, with blond hair and blue eyes.
“I wasn’t a fucking Jewish Princess—I was a radical in the Army
of Peace! I left home when I was in high school and shacked up
with a bunch of Cuban Marxists!”
And the male was a very handsome Black Prince, who just hap-
pened to grow up in a whorehouse.
“The motherfucker was handsome—I’ll give him that. But
Prince? I don’t think so.”
The Prince and Princess met in a bar and took an instant dislike to
each other—
“Now we’re talking, Rainy. If you’re going to tell the story, tell
it like it is.”
But they overcame their differences, flew to Las Vegas, and got mar-
ried in a tacky little chapel.
“Bastard wouldn’t even spring for an Elvis impersonator.”
They made love all night and all day, every night and every day,
and before long the Jewish Princess was pregnant.”
“Sick as a dog, too.”
Then one rainy afternoon, while the two of them were sitting at
home (on the shag carpet), listening to the rain, it suddenly came to her.
“Let’s call her ‘Rain,’ ” she said.
“Who?” he said.
“The baby!” she said.
And the Black Prince perked right up and his eyes went all wide.
“Rain!” he said. “Now that’s a good name. I like that name!”
“You know, I hate to do this to you, but now that I think about
it, maybe it wasn’t the rain after all. Maybe it was the sprinklers.”
INTRODUCTION 3
“Mom!”
“I’m just trying to be helpful. You said you wanted to tell the
truth and nothing but the goddamn truth, and I’m doing my part.”
“Well? Was it the sprinklers?”
“No, probably not. If it had been the sprinklers, we would have
called you ‘Sprinkle.’ ”
“Great name for a porn star!”
“You know what? It’s coming back to me now. It really was
raining. I remember because the windows were all fogged up, and
because your father got to his feet and used his finger to write your
name in the glass: R-A-I-N.”
“Then what?”
“What do you mean, Then what? You know what. Life hap-
pened, and everything went to shit.”
“Not everything, Mom.”
“No. I guess you’re right. Not everything.”
“I remember good times, too.”
“Yeah, so do I. The motherfucker was crazy, but he was never
boring.”
No, he certainly wasn’t boring. Life with Richard Pryor was one
hell of a ride.